I don’t want to be all “13-year-old-boy” about this, but my word that storm looks like a dick.
I worry that everything I - work, music, writing - and that my professional skills will always be second-rate. Why can’t I appreciate the fact that I am this far in my education? Why do I have to look at this opportunity like it’s going to be taken away at any moment once someone finds out I am not as smart as I seem? Do I even seem smart?
I am scared.
Something that has been scaring me a lot lately is how education and intelligence are viewed and valued in (at least, because I am most familiar with it) this country. I worry because it seems like when people are allowed to choose their own curriculum (or have a problem with a method in which they are taught), they will often try to subvert the difficult subjects, often because they view them as unnecessary and/or uninteresting.
This is making me sound like a “Just-shut-up-and-drink-your-juice” kind of person - I’m not. I think a healthy bit of skepticism should be encouraged and nourished. But there is a difference between that and challenging authority. If you think that what you are being taught is bullshit, wouldn’t it be more prudent to sit, listen, and examine internally what about what you’re learning doesn’t feel right? You can ask questions about the material without being accusatory or insubordinate. And I think it’s good to force yourself to listen to a viewpoint you don’t agree with every once-in-a-while to give yourself some perspective.
My opinion here is potentially fraught with problematic and unexplored trains of thought, but it’s just something I worry about. I worry that encouraging young people to ONLY think for themselves and give no regard to the notion that they may not know everything and that some adults, teachers that they might even despise, might know something they don’t might undermine how education is valued. And just because someone slights you doesn’t invalidate what they have to share with you. It’s taken me a long time to realize that often times, when I have the most to gain from an experience, it is incredibly uncomfortable. Just because we don’t see the immediate application of some subject or topic doesn’t make it utterly useless.
I also have a strong STRONG dislike of students that go to school but complain about having to take classes. If you don’t want to take the required course material for a particular major, please change majors or stop going to school altogether. Go to school to learn and be actively engaged in your education. I worry that if most of the people that enroll in colleges are only going because they think they’re supposed to and if they complain about the curriculum and demand changes to it because it doesn’t suit them - well it would be no wonder as to why the quality of education is declining. Schooling and education have become a business that is playing to the lowest common denominator sometimes.
Does that make sense? Do I sound like an old fuck? Twenty-eight going on sixty-five, I guess. I should clarify that I believe everyone is entitled to an education and that forcing people to do anything (like go to school) is bad - forcing people to go to school has contributed to what I few as a serious problem. But please don’t take away the things I cherish about learning (challenges, a little abstraction) just because you don’t care about them.
A mopey place to contextualize and lay to rest four unresolved, unreleased inkmink related songs. Also some music I’ve been into lately.
Tracklist below - take a listen!
blackout beach 0.00 sending postcards to a ghost
inkmink 2.15 figure out what’s wrong with you
chromatics 5.04 running up that hill
cold cave 11.05 tristan corbiere
d tiberio 14.21 lie/losing form
inkmink 19.44 tk2
classixx 21.40 borderline
lucky dragons 25.51 existers
the gall 32.43 open wound (inkmink remix)
lali puna 34.46 move on (baths remix)
this song is a mess but so am i 39.27 prepare the structure of your heart
inkmink 42.56 tk
that’s the way the popcorn pops
I REALIZE I LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE GOOD THINGS AND BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO ME SIMULTANEOUSLY AND THAT HAVING A SINGULAR EMOTIONAL RESPONSE THAT BLANKETS ALL IS NOT HEALTHY OR APPROPRIATE.
The closest I’ve been to performing in a while. I recorded this lip-synch last year. And it’s a song that made it to “When I Dream of This Place” in a much different form. Enjoy!
“How do you get into the light? Where is it? And where does it come from? I don’t believe in a god. I don’t believe in anything. We are not holding each other. I see that so plainly. I see it in your face. And if I start to run away will you know not to follow me even though I’d want you to? It’s not like we’re tied together - our hands at our own sides. I don’t believe in a god. I don’t believe in anything. People are not worth knowing. Not when all I want is to know you. The rest of the world could burn for all I care - for all I care! It’s not that they’re forsaken. I really just forgot. I really just forgot. I don’t believe in a god. I don’t believe in anything.”
Those were the lyrics at one point. They shifted and changed, but I believe these were the MOST lyrics.
SOMETHING
inkmink needs an overhaul. I need to grow out of what I do into something more challenging and rewarding. So while the EPs will still be worked on, I will seriously be considering and reconsidering and REconsidering what inkmink is and it’ll be some time before a new album. It has a concept and fits as say a 3rd and final part to the neo-inkmink trilogy (of which “SYLVESTER” and “When I Dream of This Place” are 1st and 2nd).
Also, the DESERVED video I was making - - - - - - the song is about first world problems, maybe. Or just feeling guilty for ever saying or feeling that I deserve something when really the world owes us nothing. I am so lucky for what I have but I feel terrible when I wish I had more or something different. The video was fine until the climax. So I need to consider what the fuck I’m doing with it before I can finish and release it.
