There are two meme-ish phrases/expressions I absolutely hate:
"This." - when attached to a large article or video that seems to summarize the opinion of whoever shared it completely. It allows one to just passively agree without really expressing why - someone is basically agreeing for you. I don’t know, I hate it.
"That ______ tho." I haven’t really figured out why other than I just don’t like it. It’s not the shortening of the word "though" that bothers me - I think it’s just how it’s so frequently used non-sequitur. There’s no reason for the "tho" unless you’re trying to show a counterpoint to someone’s previously expressed opinion.
Working on some ugly sister music
A sample of new lyrics
"…the wrists so limp
they’re barely hanging on
the spine so useless
it’s a column of ash?”
This is how I feel after Blackout Friday.
This is like
the first a bad break-up I’ve ever had. I heard you were sorry but it means nothing if it doesn’t come from you. I need you, Dolly Parton. How do I forgive?
I have been spending every day some where in this building. Making figures for my thesis, reading, procrastinating, writing - and for the past month or so, NOT writing songs. I can’t remember off the too of my head the last song I wrote. But I did make one yesterday, inspired to create after watching (of all things) Indie Game, the documentary about video games. I like what I made and feel like I am again beginning to write a new album. But because I don’t care when I release it, I think it’ll stick. So the third installment in the post-RESET-inkmink album trilogy is underway, with no real expectations or direction. Also, upon the completion of that sentence, likely jinxed to all hell. But whatever.
After writing that song yesterday, I noticed that I felt incredibly bummed. And despite personal problems and working all the time, I really haven’t felt that way in a while. It’s like writing songs allows me to tap into some underlying well of depression. Writing songs makes me sad.
So maybe when this next album is done (if ever at all) I might just stop making music for a while, and live a life of work and professional stuff, and then maybe experience something that I won’t feel the need to write about. And then maybe I’ll forget about making music and never do it ever again. But maybe not! Either way - this next album is going to take a lot out of me likely. So get ready for it! I bet I could release it on the inkmink 10 year anniversary which, if my memory serves me correctly, is January of 2015.
I do have plans for some things in 2014 though. And maybe I can follow through with them. I’ll write about them but need to crystallize what they are first.
A little on-the-nose, given my previous post.
I will remember that he misrepresented our personal issues as an assessment of the impersonal and that he thinks my “lifestyle” (by which he means queerness, which is not really a lifestyle but rather a part of my life - I digress) is the punch line to every dick joke he can think of (can’t think of them fast enough I reckon). I will remember this because I do not want to feel guilty for not being able to look him in the eyes when I see him at work. I should not feel guilty for standing up for myself and not having room in my life for that kind of shit.
Take yourself seriously when no one else will.
At this point, I understand that there is no friendship worth salvaging, but I will likely have to remain silent and not pick at the scab to maintain a professional relationship.
See - HE fucked up and HE apologized to me like he finished the orange juice and didn’t replace it. “Of course you understand that I didn’t mean it and support your lifestyle.” A paraphrase, not a quote. I read that and hear “you’ll get over it, don’t take it so seriously.” I’d have proof of him meaning more than that if he’d fucking find the courage to talk to me in person about it. But he won’t and I’m tired of starting those kinds of conversations, lest I be considered a trouble-making whiny fag. He didn’t call me a fag, nor would he likely ever call me one, but this is a man that DID compare the way I speak to that “honey badger” guy, making fun of me for any little lilt or soft “ess.”
"I support your lifestyle." My lifestyle? I am an early riser, I am untidy, I like to take walks and listen to music, I am an independent musician, I love cats, I love dogs, I like thinking, I like reading, I masturbate a lot, I cook semi-frequently, I like cardigans, I drink and am sad and those frequently are related, I work all the time, I work ALL THE TIME, and I try to go to bed early so I can get up early. Thanks for the fucking support.
Xiu Xiu announce new album Angel Guts: Red Classroom
THIS will be the best album in the world.